A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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