i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
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You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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