So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
