You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
