We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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