I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The air was thick with penises
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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