i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
