I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
