she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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