Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
