Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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