people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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