ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
