I'm really into asian looking animals
I just gift wrapped bread.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
