So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
