I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we made out on top of his cat.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
