Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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