these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
