what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
