On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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