with your own penis?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
