My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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