im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
