would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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