butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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