Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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