Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
