Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
