Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
