Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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