we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
