Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
