**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
