Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I faked an abortion last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
