Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize