I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
