she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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