ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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