I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know her cup size but not her name....
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