I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and i looked up. we had an audience...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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