you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
