so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
