Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
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at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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