Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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