I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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