I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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