i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize