I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
