what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
