I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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