I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize