i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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