I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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