don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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