Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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