Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
