Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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