I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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