I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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