this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
