Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize